It’s been a while since I’ve consistently posted here. And I feel guilty about it every day. But, you guys, Spring happened and I just kind of went mad. I have been so busy being outside and enjoying the sunshine (a.k.a. over instagramming photos displaying my deep affection for lilacs) or frantically trying to declutter our home. I have been honestly a little distracted from Keeping Willow. When the summer comes you may never hear from me, but we’ll see I guess.
Apart from getting wrapped up with being outside, I have had some mild writers block. I have sat down over the past few weeks to try and write a post and nothing has really clicked. So to get some juices flowing again, I just want to give you an update on life, for me and for my family. I’m not promising excitement and adventure, because we are really kind of boring, but I will try to be a little entertaining.
I am in a constant state of “what’s next?”. While I am thoroughly enjoying myself in Toronto, I have put a hold on aggressively pursuing my career while Jazz is working on his Master’s Degree. And it’s the whole parenting thing. I am just not ready to surrender Willow to someone else for the entire day. I have been very grateful to find a family that will allow me to work for them, caring for their children, while also bringing Willow with me. It’s kind of a win win….except, you know, the whole not working towards my hopes and dreams thing. While I am growing more content with my situation, I am still anxiously waiting to move forward in this area of life. I am constantly reminding myself that I am putting things off for a time so I can spend more time with Willow before she goes to school. I know someday I will be so grateful for this time that right now I can’t seem to wait to be over.
Other than that, I have been working really hard to take care of myself. I want to be well. Nutrition, exercise, bedtime routines, all of it has been tweaked and tightened. I’m even brewing my own kombucha and doing daily oil pulls (more on that later friends). And I feel amazing. I’ve avoided getting sick twice. I feel like super woman. I am super woman! (I’ve been working on positive thinking too).
Willow, she is becoming more of an angel/terror every day. One minute she is sweet and helpful, snuggly and kind, the next minute she is throwing a fit on the subway and scrunching up her face saying “not nice mommy!” The sweetness and crankiness seem to grow congruently together. It’s so adorable/exhausting. Such is toddlerhood I guess. But overall she is on average an angel who only wants to make you laugh. She is talking mostly in full sentences now. We are surprised every day by what comes out of her mouth because there’s always something new. What a little sponge. I want to eat her.
Oh, also, here’s our little gymnast in her first gymnastics class. Welcome to my soccer mom phase of life.
My work-horse-of-a-husband is dredging away at finishing heady, slow as molasses, philosophy papers from his last term. I just opened to a random page in one of the many books he has stacked on our desk. Just to give you an idea of the kind of material he deals with on a day to day basis, here are a couple sentences from the book “The Speculative Turn” by a bunch of smarty pants philosophers:
The thanatropic regression which registers itself as a dissipative tendency for matter and energy is conducted through this path. Such a path for human is drawn by the conservative conditions of the human organism. We call this conservative regime of the open system or the organism which forces the dissipation of the thanatropic regression to be in conformity to the dynamic capacity of the organism or the organism’s affordable economy of dissipation, necrocracy.
I think I fell asleep while I was typing that. This is what he does all day long. Oh and then he works in a neighborhood coffee shop, tends to the the house and fathers the crazy aforementioned 2-year-old the rest of the day. When the day is over, he reads some more stuff like above in his spare time — FOR FUN! I’m immensely proud of him. And look, he’s getting better at the latte art!
Our weeks are full of the same old same old. Our weekends are full of spending time with friends, exploring Toronto and working on my very poor attempt at minimalism. Over Queen Victoria Day (one of the many Canadian statutory holidays that most people don’t know what the holiday is for) my mother and brother came to visit. It was truly grand. This spring has been truly grand.
Things are not always ideal but I feel immensely happy. More than happy. Joyful. I feel lucky to say that.
How about you? Has spring got you in a swooning delirium of procrastination? Tell me more! Tell me more!