Parenthood

I’m Crazy in Love

I love my husband.  But that is not what this post is about.  After Willow was born and we came home from the hospital, very dazed and completely confused, I remember sitting on the couch, my newborn daughter in my arms, with tears, very unattractively, pouring out of my face.  I stared out the window thanking God for this beautiful gift in my arms.  All the things that people say to you when you’re expecting a child, you’ll never know a greater love, blah blah blah, was sinking in real quick.  That little pterodactyl sounding, poop machine just stole my heart.  And yet, when I think back to that moment, it doesn’t even compare to the kind of love I feel for my daughter now, 2 years later.

Over a week in mid-January, we successfully potty trained Willow.  Or more like Willow decided she uses the potty all of a sudden.  Of course we helped, along with this amazing book, Potty Palooza, one of my BFF’s sent Willow for Christmas (it’s all about the stickers people).  She has been a total champ.  She is at the point now that she stays dry at night and during naps, and she’s barely two!  The combination of this new found independence along with her rapidly growing vocabulary is putting a huge strain on my heart.  As in, I don’t know if I can still be living and love any more.

I mean when she was a newborn, she was cute and she was ours (and then there’s the hormones) but this little person was still a stranger to us.  You had no idea what kind of personality they would have.  Your relationship was almost entirely one sided.  And newborns are just exhaustion inducers, seriously.  But you still felt an overwhelming amount of love for them.  Now, Willow is my friend.  She knows what things to do and say to intentionally make me laugh out loud.  She tells me what exactly she likes (oranges) and what she doesn’t like (broccoli rabe). One of her favorite past times is building epic lego towers with “daddy” after work.  She wants to do EVERYTHING by herself. She does this cute thing where she grabs my cheeks in her hands, looks me in the eyes, and gives me the sweetest little kiss in the world.  And as if that wasn’t the most adorable thing ever, there is the way she says “ah lub ooh (I love you) mommy” with a huge smile on her face.  Whoever said the 2’s were terrible, was terribly mistaken.

Ok, she has her fair share of stubbornness and an occasional temper tantrum but although those moments are frustrating, I am kind of cheering her on inside.  Because if there are any traits I want her to gain from her father, it would be to not let anyone hold her back (within reason, I assure you).

All this being said, I am crazy in love with my growing, independent, little girl.  Go conquer the world little one.  I’ll hold your hand (if you want me to) and try not to cry.

xoxo

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3 thoughts on “I’m Crazy in Love

  1. dorothe bonzo says:

    At 20 your heart has basically exploded and you watch them walk away knowing this is what’s supposed to happen, and you’ve helped them get there. Maybe when they are 30, or become parents, your heart has a chance to pull back together.

  2. Pam Elmore says:

    My heart is continually exploding, and my child turns 30 this year. I’m just not sure I’ll every recover from the crazy-in-loveness.

    Thanks, Stacy. This was beautiful.

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